Last year my life was turned up-side-down in ways I never could have imagined, and the last thing I wanted to do was drag my friends, family and total strangers into what was easily the worst year of my life. Since then, I’ve opened up to most people about what was really going on, but I figured I’d spare my small-but-mighty blog audience the depressing details.
The important thing is that I’m finally on the other side of it, and I’m here to share a few things about my new life!
- I moved back to Kansas City in January! As you may recall, the move to Des Moines was difficult for me for a lot of reasons. Being back in my hometown has been so good for me. I’m renting a cute little house in Prairie Village and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be back! (But I do miss my amazing friends in Des Moines!!!)
- I’ve got my boys with me. Obviously. Anyone who knows me probably knows that someone, even Chris, would have had to pry these dogs out of my cold, dead hands. They are my whole world, and I cannot imagine my life without them in it. They may be total weirdos, but they’re my weirdos.
- I’ve discovered therapy is truly the best gift a person can give themselves. There are absolutely no words to describe how useful it was for me—not just to help get me through a divorce, but to help me better understand who I am, what motivates my behavior (spoiler alert: debilitating anxiety) and how to create a life for myself that I’ve always wanted.
- I’m not angry or sad anymore. For all the valid reasons I have to be upset with Chris about blowing our lives up in such a spectacular way, I’ve made the decision to let those feelings go. It doesn’t do anybody any good to dwell on the negative, so why bother?
- I’m happier than I’ve been in years. It’s funny what a little time and perspective can do for a girl. The second half of last year was truly a nightmare for me. It was physically and emotionally draining—I wasn’t eating or sleeping or functioning at 100% capacity in any way. And I truly couldn’t imagine a world in which I ever felt happy again. But even before that, I know now that I wasn’t really happy in that relationship. Although that is sort of sad and weird to admit, it’s the unfortunate truth. But ever the optimist, I’m looking back at the past seven years of my life not as a waste of time, but as a very valuable learning experience.
So for those of you who were wondering if I gave up on the blog, the answer is NO! In fact, I really feel like I need this creative outlet, and I look forward to writing even more about my new life.
And believe me, there’s plenty to discuss… I’m dating again, which is weird and fun and scary and exciting—but mostly weird. My dogs are still awkward AF and murdering critters when they have the chance. I got a new bike and I’ve been riding a lot more which makes me super happy. I finally get to be a hands-on “aunt” to all my friends’ kids! I plan on traveling more—sometimes alone, sometimes not—which should definitely provide some entertaining stories… Most importantly, I have a very real sense of contentment with the way my life has turned out so far, and I’m genuinely looking forward to what my future brings. I hope you’ll stick around for the ride!
Ashley, Cyrus & Bill